Reflection

” The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between. “ ~Mother Teresa

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

”Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I’m pregnant again. I don’t want kids so close together. So the doctor said: ‘Ok and what do you want me to do?’

She said: ‘I want you to end my pregnancy, and I’m counting on your help with this.’ The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: ‘I think I have a better solution for your problem. It’s less dangerous for you too.’ She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: ‘You see, in order for you not to have to take care 2 babies at the same time, let’s kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we’re going to kill one of them, it doesn’t matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: ‘No doctor! How terrible! It’s a crime to kill a child!
‘I agree’, the doctor replied. ‘But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.’
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that’s already been born and one that’s still in the womb.
The crime is the same!

“Love says I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person. Abortion says I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself…”

If   your existence was to be a choice by the tossing of this coin, if it is heads you live and if it is tails you die ? What would be your reaction to it ? The same is the reaction of the fetus inside a mother’s womb when the mother decides to go in for a abortion.

Basically,there are four different procedures of abortion : first is the vacuum suction method , where the fetus is cleaned out like a dirt. Second is the cutting method where the doctor cuts the baby into slices inside the mother’s womb. Third is the surgical method where the doctor removes the baby by operating the abdomen. And the fourth is the salt method, where a salt solution is injected into the amniotic sac  . Through either way of abortion the baby feels great pain and anguish.

The mother is the ultimate with regards to the child. The age-old adage goes that God created mothers because He could not be everywhere all the while. Therefore , if the mother forsakes the child, that would be the gravest injustice in the world . 5000 abortions are being performed every hour all through out the world. This totals upto 1,20,000 killing of fetus per day.

Why  people don’t realize that even if a mother did not want her child, there is no need to abort since adoption is a readily available choice that would save the child’s life and lift the burden of mother hood from the mother. Then why not we avoid this gravest sin that we perform willingly to kill our own species ?

” Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ”                                                                                                                                                                                   ~Barnett R. Brickner

Right from the time we are conceived, we are into different relationships : son/daughter, brother/sister, friend, husband/wife, father/mother, uncle/aunt, grand-father/grand-mother… But it is in your marriage where you find all your relationships fulfilled together as one.  Life’s most necessity is the want to love and to be loved. Any sort of relationship can provide this love , but only through the relationship of marriage that you best achieve this ‘love’. All your other relationships limit itself to a certain extend, even it be your mother ! But your spouse becomes one in you , far beyond all the other bonds that you possess.

Marriage is not a word, but a sentence. And the person you bond with ,is not someone, but yourself. The beauty of this bond lies in loving each other, without any condition and without any expectation – accepting one another as such  with their flaws and strengths. It is in this selfless giving that you receive happiness. And always remember it’s only giving, giving and only giving… Marriage is not a bond of 50-50 as usually told. It is 100-0. Only when you have the zero expectancy, you will find a sense of oneness in the relationship. It is the unity of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, body and soul into one single being. Love in marriage does not depend on beauty or sex, but on the inner self. I don’t mean that sex is not important in marriage : Sex  is also a part of it, but only when you feel it as an expression of your love,  and not as a prey to your lust.  The outward beauty fades as years pass by, but only the love within remains for all the years to come.

Love, confidence and dialogue are the basic foundations for a successful marriage. It is falling in love with the same person again and again. Trusting your spouse at the toughest of the situations. Spending some time to share your thoughts everyday. Your marriage becomes perfect when you learn to enjoy the differences inspite of the imperfections you have. Sacrifice in a marriage is not sacrificing for the other, but it is a unity in the relationship. If all couples realize the validity on this point, there would be no need of divorce or bitter marital feelings. Thus the purpose of marriage is not to find yourself complete, but to find completeness as one with your spouse.

“Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.“ ~ George MacDonald

Forgiveness is ‘to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt’. It is our natural reaction to injustice-to any kind of injury or anger .It is the most difficult act to perform, for it strongly depends upon ones mental ability and emotions.

Forgiveness is a process of change. Its when one you do not change the past, but improve your future. You cannot freely give to the world that which you do not give to yourself.

It a gift to give and receive forgiveness, for it is blessed in both the ways. When a person receives forgiveness, he is free of all his guilty feelings and gets transformed into a better being. When someone gives forgiveness, he is free from all his inner grudges and vengeful deeds that has been a hindrance in the development with the relationships. Moreover, when one forgives his own self , he has attained the pinnacle of self-realization. Thus, forgiveness profits both the giver and the  taketh . It’s a difficult task until one has felt the healing power of it. It has to be made without any expectation .  forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will.

The law of attraction states that you receive that which you send out, so if you project only forgiveness and love, you will only attract others that do the same and so ultimately you will not encounter behavior that warrants your forgiveness. But all of this cannot be until you learn first to forgive yourself.

And the art to forgive oneself is an ultimate act of wisdom. It is the process of giving up resentment or anger towards one own self. There is no greater challenge in maintaining and strengthening relationships than forgiveness.

“Joy is not in things; it is in us”  ~ Richard Wagner

Tom had a friend at work who was a very simple man. One day Tom went up to him and asked him “How come you seem so simple and uncomplicated unlike most people around here? How do you manage to do this?” His friend smiled at the compliment and said “I don’t trouble my brains very often” he said, “and I just look at things the way they are.” Tom was more troubled now “How? Will you not lose your intelligence if you don’t use it?” His friend now said rather simply “Depends on what you don’t want to lose”

What’s the connection between intelligence and Joy? If we have made ourselves truly joyful, we must be an intelligent person because that means we’ve fulfilled the fundamental purpose of our life. Maybe not the ultimate purpose, but at least we have fulfilled the fundamental purpose of our life.

In this world, whom do we call intelligent? Somebody who gets to fulfill what he wants to do; somebody who gets to win the game he wants to play; somebody who takes a particular path and reaches there, that’s an intelligent person, isn’t it? So right now, every human being is aspiring to be joyful, so if one person is joyful by his own nature, definitely he must be intelligent.

Maybe socially, somebody may think he’s a fool, but the real fool who thinks that a joyful person is a fool doesn’t know what he’s missing. Somebody may be so joyful that he doesn’t care to build a business for himself, make money, or have fine clothes or this or that. So someone else who’s wearing good clothes and has lots of money may think this person is a fool. He thinks, “He’s just happy, he’s just joyful by his own nature. In rags, on the street he’s joyful, what a fool!” But see who the fool really is.

With great difficulty we gather all these things because we want to be joyful but we’re not joyful, so aren’t we a fool? Somebody who without doing anything is simply joyful by his own nature, is he a fool? Who is intelligent? The man who fulfills the purpose for which he is doing what he is doing is an intelligent person. So, socially, how we judge him doesn’t matter, existentially a joyful person is obviously an intelligent person.

Miserable people have passed off as intelligent people in the world, because they have miserable questions and complications in their minds. Unfortunately, this unnecessary complexity which creates misery and burden upon themselves has been glorified as intelligence. Just unbridled intellectual activity is considered as intelligence but it is not. True intelligence is when we’re absolutely thoughtless and fully alert. Intelligence then functions in a completely different way.

“The pleasures of ignorance are as great, in their way, as the pleasures of knowledge.” ~Aldous Huxley

Tom was very upset at the television as it was just not working well for a couple of days and he did not know what to do. He finally went and gave the TV/set a little tap on the right side but there was no change. Then he gave a hard tap on the left side but could not see any improvement. Then he slapped it hard on the top and still there was no real change. Finally he went behind the TV set and banged it hard with his fist after which he heard a small sound of something bursting inside.

Now he knew that this method of repairing the television set would not really work.

We’ve always been told that ignorance is bliss. Till life takes a bite at us, yes, it is blissful. See, right now, if we go up a tall building and jump off from there, do we know how joyful it will be? Just that free fall? But that’s only till we hit the ground. Once we hit terra firma, then we’re a smear, no more Joy.

Suppose there was no consequence of hitting the ground, I’m sure every human being would be climbing up the tallest building and jumping off again and again because it is such a Joy. Why do we think people take roller coaster rides? Why do we think they’re bungee jumping? Why do we think they’re skydiving? Only because jumping without the consequence of smashing into the earth is very joyful.

So if we just walk off a tall building, it is very joyful, because ignorance is bliss. But only for those few seconds till we hit the ground. So idiots can be joyful, only till life gets them, and life usually gets them. If life doesn’t, death will.

Now, I’m not talking about that kind of Joy that is subject to the process of life and death. I’m talking about that dimension of Joy that is neither subject to the process of life, nor the process of death.

““Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve” ~ Erich Fromm

Tom and Aaron could just not sleep because there was a din of loud music outside the house Tom and Aaron shut all the windows of their home and the doors of their bedroom and then hoped that the sound would vanish but it just did not.

To their surprise, they found Lisa sleeping peacefully in her bed. Aaron was surprised too and he took a closer look at his mother. Lisa had put on earplugs and gone to sleep while Tom and Aaron struggled!

If we shift from being a compulsive existence to a conscious existence, being joyful won’t be an effort. Being joyful will be very natural for us. Right now, we’re a compulsive human being, we’re compelled by outside situations constantly, and we’re hoping to be joyful; that’s hope against hope. When we are a compulsive person, if we have to be joyful, we will have to fix the whole world the way we want it, and if we fix the world the way we want it nobody else will be joyful. So it is better we’re not joyful.

“Such a wonderful tree, Mom.’” shouted Aaron when he looked up at the huge banyan tree in the garden.” Yes such huge branches and such beautiful leaves,” added Lisa. And such a huge trunk mom, it’s so wonderful!” Aaron said while hugging the tree trunk fondly.” But my son, do you see what supports all this?” Lisa asked Aaron and then pointed to some of the roots of the tree that had sprung above the ground. Aaron looked at them curiously.

Joy is not the end of the world. What is Joy? The square one of our life, a solid foundation for our life to bloom, not an ultimate possibility in our life rather it is the ‘A’ of our life, not the ‘Z’ of our life. When the ‘A’ has not happened, what else are we up to? We are trying to build a house without laying the foundations. Do we know what a fear it will be to hold up a house that doesn’t have foundations? If we let it go for one moment, on our head. That’s how our life is.  If we are off guard for one moment, everything will crash head.

But if we have a solid foundation of Joy, we can do whatever we want to do on that. We can even build a huge mansion and it is fine because it has got good foundations. Now we have no foundations or we have shaky foundations and we are trying to hold the building up. What a torture every little activity of life must be!

“In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider.” ~ King Solomon

Tom’s behavior at breakfast on Sunday mornings was very strange to Lisa. Surprisingly he would enjoy the food served much more than on other days of the week Lisa would wonder how come he would enjoy the same dishes a hundred times more when he was relaxed on Sundays. She definitely felt he was having a miserable time at work and at home the other days of the week and therefore breakfast were such an ordeal for him on weekdays.

If we’re joyful, whatever we do, we will do it to the hilt because we have nothing to hold back, nothing to fear, isn’t it? We will definitely do it to our fullest capability. When we’re not, we have our own issue; we will never do anything 100% in our life. This doesn’t mean that we have become a super human being and can do everything. No. We will function to our fullest capacity; at least what we can do will happen in the world. What we cannot do anyway doesn’t happen. Whether we’re joyful or miserable, it doesn’t happen.

Lisa’s mood changed. She suddenly looked delighted after being so dull the whole day. When Tom asked her why she suddenly felt good, Lisa pointed out at the rain and said “Rains always cheer me up”. “So we will get you under the water spray the next time you are in afoul mood” said a visibly upset Tom. ‘And if that is not the real thing then Aaron and I will go up to the roof and sprinkle water with cur lawn sprayer” he added with an impish smile. Aaron was laughing and he ran out to play in the rain, Aaron then opened an umbrella and held it over Lisa’s bead and this made her smile. She realized it had been so stupid of her to wait for the rain so that she could smile.

Joy is not because we know something, Joy is nor because we understand something, Joy is because the deepest core of us than functions, finds expression. We need to understand, even though the Joy comes from outside elements, the actual Joy is always from within. In poetry we would say ‘I will shower Joy upon you’. But in reality it is not the way. We can create a situation where we cannot help being aligned in a certain way whereby, we naturally’ feel joyful. Joy is always an inner experience, if it was showered upon us, our skin should feel it first, but that’s not how it happens. It‘s a certain alignment within us, which naturally allows the innermost core to find expression and Joy happens. There’s nothing else wrong with people except that they’re miserable. They are miserable in whatever they do and they don’t do. If they get to do something they make themselves miserable, if they don’t, they become miserable. They just need an excuse. But we will see if we’re in a certain level of alignment on a particular day, we will find all we need is an excuse to burst into laughter. But if we’re in a certain level of misalignment, all we need is an excuse to burst into tears and depression. So we need to understand, whatever we are thinking right now as the source of our Joy is just an excuse.

“Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve” ~ Erich Fromm

Lisa was admiring herself in front of the mirror when Tom stepped into the room. “Stop admiring yourself like this Lisa” said Tom, “Am I not looking wonderful Tom?” Lisa said posing again in front of the mirror ” Well, actually …that mirror has just been polished a couple of days back we know …that’s why probably… you know_ it is not because of you!” Tom smiled looking at Lisa who did not like this tongue-in-cheek comment

Only the being in us can be joyful; but right now no such thing, as we actually exist. What we are is just a huge heap of garbage that we gathered from social circumstances.

Please look into ourselves and see what is it here within we that we can call as ourselves? It is just a hodge-podge of stuff that we’ve gathered from the books that we read, from the people who live around us and from the things that are around us. Just a huge heap of impressions that we have taken in. There’s no ‘we’ there.

Actually, there are two huge heaps; one is the body and the other is the mind. Our physical body is just a heap of food that we’ve eaten isn’t it? Just see how huge this heap has become from the time that we were born till now? Our mind is just a heap of impressions that we’ve taken in. In these two large heaps, where are we? We don’t even exist so how can we be joyful? There’s no such possibility.

First we must have an existence and then being joyful arises. Right now, we’re just a reflection of the society in which we live, there’s no such thing as we in this. Only an individual can know Joy.

No war needs to happen on this planet, human beings are fighting battles within themselves endlessly, isn’t it? We don’t need guns and swords to fight battles — we can just sit with our eyes closed and start a battle of our own.